i knocked on his door

I knocked on his door.

Well... first I called two phone numbers on the signs and got prayer lines that didn't know who he was or what I was talking about... then I called the number looking for the sign stealer and let it ring about twenty times and nobody answered... THEN I went up and banged on his door for a while, but nobody came... then I wrote a note and put it in his mailbox... then finally as I was leaving he answered the door.

I was hoping to put one or two of his signs in a show I am organizing, but he isn't interested. He's a little bit interested, or maybe curious, but not enough to take any of them down, and says he doesn't have anything extra inside. His main concern is catching the sign stealer, and making sure I am not the sign stealer. The current sign stealer... as people have been taking them, intermittently, for forty years.

Once he was convinced that I am not the sign stealer, he went back inside to get a warmer shirt on and came out on the porch to hang out and talk. He said he has a hobby... he can guess anybody's age, height, and weight, within three years, an inch and a half, and five pounds. He was off by eight years and two inches, but claimed he got two out of three right because he backtracked and said height within two inches.

He also said "I'm a poet. I can make a rhyme, anytime, on a dime"... long pause... "that's a fact, Jack"... followed by "I know you're name's not Jack, I just said that for the sake of the rhyme".

After that it was all about Jesus and The End of the World. It was funny because he would be preaching and then segue into something real-world, like sports or catching the sign stealer... "He is an angry and jealous God, and I'm gonna get that sign stealer". It really bothers him that someone would take them.




Sign stealer, you are bad!!